approaching end of april

Half of my problem was solved and I can finally start preparing my trip to UK. *for study*

For the past one week, I was quite busy going around the town with my friend to settle my documents for visa application. The application seems easy but the worries of making sure it goes through on the first attempt is just plainly headache. I'm doing it early so that I can have some peace in mind before flying off.

Well, today consider a productive day. I collected my TB result, levain for lunch , bought some medical book , went around the shopping mall and finally got a pair of shoes that suits me well. Has been looking for one and yet the suitable came in clearance price from Tiamo. Tiamo is having a moving clearance sales as the shop gonna relocate in other place till 1st of May . So better grab yours if you like their product.

Well, there's a second thing that i feel really happy about but I wasn't sure if I can post it here yet . I shall wait till I got it done .

Good day everyone =D 

Memories and future

Memories

that I cant recall but yet the shadow appears
that I wish to delete yet shown up when your mind need a rest
that I wish to keep yet it disappear thoroughly

For you who left, I keep nothing but a piece of good luck for you
For you who left, I keep nothing but a simple friendship in mind
For you who stay, I promised for every way I can to protect us.

pic taken in burps and giggles cafe, Ipoh

Future 

Life is like stages of stairs, 

you trying hard to keep up, 

but 

It remains as a stair for you 

to lift yourself

try harder to move forward 

Along the way,

 a wish for a lamp that show the way

a wish for a path which is clear and wide

Chasing up with time, 

keeping yourself in role. 

i'm sorry

Things got worse from day to day, tears were down endlessly
It's hard for me to even take a breath now .
I'm sorry,
For the things i dunno yet related to me,
for the situation i cant help yet i add the burden on,
for my greediness,
for my wish
for my dream
for my future
that i always expected.
Now i know i was once lived in a Cinderella world,
worries-free, burden-free.
I called and asked for money,
I called and asked for holiday
I called and asked for dress..anything.
You tried to please me again and again,
I'm sorry...
for feeling bad in owning nothing now.
I'm sorry
for not knowing how to handle the stress and burden now.
I'm sorry
for not ready to take up the future burden.


But i know it's time to face the real world,
to take up my own world,
work hard on it and keep going on
It's seem easy when people telling you things can get better,
so i end my day by telling myself tomorrow will be okay,
as what friend say, as what i hope.


I'm trying to hold on
for that, i keep telling myself
"chris, take a deep breath ,you can do it, miracle will happen, you just gotta stand for another day, cause the day after is a brand new day."


the truth is,
i wake up into a nightmare.
hiding the scream and tears, wonder how much more i can take in.
THinking if this is the end for everything.





Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again
- Better days by Goo Goo Dolls.

bad to worst

it's been a while since i posted. 2012 is not really a good year for me. Things that were not expected to happen , it actually happened right now. Things that I were used to be optimistic about, just turned upside down in a split seconds.

For just half a year, i lost my grandmother and grandfather. It was a hard strike that nearly pushed me down the ground. At the same time,  my family is facing a critical financial problem , which i do not even know if I can move on with my studies. Till this moment, for the first time i lost my direction in life. I'm helpless , miserable and I don't even know where to seek help from. Pressing calculator from time to time, realize that I am no where near to my destination. Only right now i realized how useless i am. I used to say out everything, express it out and forget about it. But this time is different, i dunno where to start from. I have zero solution for it. I've been crying for nights , I don't want to get home, I am too desperate for everything now.
I hate everything that happened, i hate to be part of this family. To carry the stress without knowing why. None of us know what happened except him. I hate to go home, to get the feeling that I'm the heaviest burden he is carrying. I know I am , and I'm sorry for that. All this while, I'm trying so hard to study and now only i realized all this hard work turned up to be your burden. I hate things to be uncertain, and now even my future is uncertain.

I was so used to the life to achieve things one by one, step by step. And now , there is no more step for me.
It's a dark path, a place where I cant approach at all. It is a hidden hole, telling you not to step anymore. Everything from now on is an unknown.  All i know is tears can't take it away, ignorant made it worst.

i'm so fucked up right now.

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it's been a while

i think i still prefer using blogspot to write a complete post rather than tumblr

more like a blog here.

so that's the end of my third week of holiday, one more week left and so i promise im gonna use it wisely

3 weeks wasted in ipoh..but true that i got enough rest ( i mean food and sleep)

so weight gained and trust me

although i always wanna do soemthing about it

( i just can't =P)

cant believe less than a week

im gonna step in for my second semester in uni,

im wishing everything gonna be fine and i promise to study harder ~

melissa,evon and yuen may!! we are going for movie again!!!

p.s credits to jamie for the great picture up there. i love them alot =D

for you ~

thanks for everything you did to me ~

and no matter how much im not sure about the relationship

for now, i do love you alot =D

i want it to go on and on....

clumsy

a couple of weeks in university

slightly changed the way i think of this place.

just slightly!

nothing really good about here

besides good friends and study.

the night market outing + second day spicy pasta

totally break through all my body immunity,

the fever and flu all came to me..

the on and off totally killing me ~

whenever you want to work on something,

it turned on..and like now, it's off!

great thing about the day :

just realized how cute Dr Leong is today..

"people, i think is either i am so DAMN good or im totally suck ..

really no question??better go get coffee people"

"better go get coffee" x 5 times

student :" sir, how the bacteria or virus kill the cell in our body"

sir:"kill yourself!" (instead of kill the cell)

today is the day to pass up our first ever uni report,

and when i just thought i passed up the right one in the office,

( i never checked)

i realized there is this copy in my file few hours ago..

" what the hell i still have the report with me"

trying hard to remember.

and i hope my memories didnt get me wrong ..

i think i printed an extra copy!!

wish me luck people.

but if it isn't, i have no idea how to fix it.

just a note about my 3rd friday in uni ~

as january still on~

happy new year people =D

the start of something new

hey people, he's just my friend!!
joker vs cyclops
welcome to tooney town
steal the limelight night
one night in beijing

this gonna be my first post for year 2011,

so far this the 11' still treating me well,

holiday ended and me just became a university student ...

the feeling is weird cause i think i still miss my pre u friends alot

i wish they are all with me right now in the class..i missed the fun and talk ~

the new year started with a night in "beijing" ( actually genting)

with moo, mark,fang yang ,jiunn and wei hwang~

though we met up for just a short while .. it was fun! you guys made up my day!~

then , it continued with the move in to bukit jalil,

first time staying away from family ,

and now i realized how good to stay at own house..im just not used to the life now..

and actually i dont have much time to think about the life,

everyday i was filled up with all the orientation activities,

though it was tiring, it was fun!

it's a successful orientation as it truly break the ice among us..

we get to know each other better and i already get some new good friends like yuen may, melissa..

of course my group mate, kar yee , john, wein gyee and the oo's ~

( lily,huei ling, xiao wen and also pavi whom i already get to know in cpu)

i miss home ..i miss subang.i miss cpu and i miss everything before uni~

i miss the milk tea shop, i miss the hang out and yum cha session with caryn and her bf..

i miss doing nothing but WAKA-WAKA-ing at night..not thinking about what time to wake up tmr..

i hate setting alarm .. remind me that i have totally lost those freedom which i used to have.

p.s . thanks to lourene and vims for purposely came to my uni and visit me~ hearts you guys alot.

i have too much in my mind now..

but i just couldnt write it all ...

all i wish for this new year..is everything going on smoothly..

i will work harder for the coming days!!

same to you who''s reading this now

wish you have a great one this year!

and yea,..remember to shop for your new clothes for the new year

specially thanks to caryn,alan and caryn;'s family

i had a great night with you all on movie and dinner

and of course to my dearest caryn,

you are right,

we are meant to be together,

thanks for the accompany on shopping today..

you are always the big part of the reason why i love cpu so much!!

i heart you =)

hugsss XOXO..

to my ipoh friends especially serene, ha, siew hui, peik... and lots more

im coming back very soon ~

so meet you guys for the cny week!!

christmas week~

it was a happening weekend

time was totally fulfilled with few celebration

first started with serene's birthday,

together with xinyi and siew hui, this year we made cupcakes for her birthday

( too much yam and blueberry with her for the past few years, so we try to make something different.)

hey girls, it was a definitely a success try because joozjin thought that we bought it ~

it was really fun working out with my two good friends with all the laughter and converse.

we made up our day with our first GREAT TRY.

i would say it was really adventurous to sneak into her house and try to hide everywhere else we could

before we managed to surprise her..

(it was so hard to get the right switch for the light !!)

the scream and smile from her totally made us feel it;s worth for the hardwork ~

followed by the christmas eve countdown ,

with no specific plan beforehand, i managed to meet up with friends from KL

and together we celebrated the night with mei tean and her colleagues.

it was another fun night =)

third celebration was my grandma's birthday

it is always one of the biggest family celebration every year, more like a family reunion

and i hope my "ah jia" ( we hakka way of calling of grandma)

stay healthy and be happy all the time

the night continued gather with mark ,ash ,jiunn and moo

wohoo~pity the polar bear who get bully all the time..

but what to do..it's too fun that we cant stop it~

thanks for the christmas present, it's so nice and i like it alot~ =)

here came another big celebration

serene's brother,Carter tied the knot with Iris on the 26th, made up a different boxing day for 2010.

it's the first time i saw a proposal video on a dinner..

they looking good and sweet together

congratz to the couple.. and happy marriage~

hmmm.so much for now~

to be continued .....=)

merry christmas everyone!!

virgin cupcakes!!

wohoo~

dear reader,

take a deep breath and be ready!!!

here comes the very first thing chris chin ever baked

my virgin cupcakes!

( lex said it sounds kinda wrong)

out of sudden, i thought of making cupcakes and got a really big help from my xinyi

she was on skype and teaching me how to make one~

thanks for the accompany!!!

i appreciate it a lot!

alright.. gonna update more on my next post

i am super tired for baking cake the whole night!!

it's time to rest!!

and happy DONG ZHI to everyone!!1

wish you have a great one this year

* if you are trying to show that you are not happy with it, i just wanted to say.i dont really care

because even i am, you dont even bother .. cant wait to get outta here*

i'll say

have you ever thought of how many years you could stay alive?

30 ,40 or 50 years more?

and when you ever dare to think about it

would you really feel satisfied?

just when i thought the recent suicidal case could have alerted the youngsters,

yet here came another boy who thinks that's cool and try to be one of them.

and the reasons is so ridiculous.

don't try to act pity before you know what's life is all about..

but if your intention is to get famous, you are actually killing your way out.

every single day, thousands of people begged for hours and minutes to live on..

and you think life just like a game to play?

though im not perfect,

I'm lucky enough to have a life right now ..

once in a while, im just like any other people

from small little matter to a big one..i love to complain..

because i know the matter is the one that keep everyone alive! =)

just a piece of white paper

don't mind how many dots you made..

because in the end

only the erased one is counted.=)

last but not least

the Cappucino(picture up there ) at BERLIN greentown worth a try! =)

mua november!

so that's the end of my November 2010

singapore trip was awesome!!

i would love those lollipop tree to be in my future house

and MR M&M to be my house guard.

because they are just so sweet~

so the end of my job too~

18 c tea,thanks for everything you gave it to me..

the laugh,the joke, and of course the family feeling =)

few months ago, people aside kept telling me how powerful time can be

it could heal and fade everything you want it to be.

they were probably right.. and yet i feel time pass faster than i expected.

for about less than a month

im gonna step into uni student..* im veryyy excited *

somehow UNI problem just troubling me..

i hate thinking about which uni is better.. what confirm a better future .

it;s like a question no one dare to answer for you .

even myself~

anywhere,im glad friends are all coming back hometown within this week..

and the best one is already in town~

=)

the rest im still waiting~

first day free from work

happy retirement to myself and wei jiunn...wohoo!

* i have a date....with my zi muissss"

GOOD LUCK TO ALL MY FORM 6 friends for the chemistry paper today

especially, bear bear, xinyi and spidey..

<3

gathering

when christmas is coming soon

it's time for gathering too~

sisters are back in ipoh!

especially you..SERENE TEHHHHHHH~~

im really happy to see you again .."awaited soo long"

we used to see each other every single day last time

and now ..even a single hour meeting up meant alot to me~

you are still the same one i knew more than 10 years ago..

we grew up and realized people do change by time to time..

and we are lucky enough that distance never bring us apart

yet..it bring us closer by sharing each other life story

to my dear form 6 friends~~

wish you all good luck for the coming exam

and we shall meet up very soon~

*off to singapore in few hours *

happy weekend

the ice cream

caryn.chris

it was a great weekend back in subang

was there to check out the room im gonna stay in next year

cant wait to be a uni student but im worried to face the load of work like some of my friends were suffering now

the greatest part was i managed to meet up with caryn ,alan and her family.

thanks for the souvenirs from your trip..

i think you are trying to make a collection of monkey in my room now

it made me miss you more dear!!!

and I LOVE IT!!!

finally we went shopping,dinner,yum cha all together!!!

i miss this seriously!!

and i miss you more!! =)

and im really sorry that i couldnt meet up with jiunn,mark and moo..

double daaz,,,,im sure to make it up for you guys again

i miss you all alottttsss..~

=)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ALAN HO...~

WELCOME BACK SERENE TEH, cant wait to have pillow talk with you ~

i have a tons of secrets to share with you!it;s too heavy that i need to pass it all to you ~

friday

life seem pretty dull recently

though lots of plan came through my mind .

was wondering why everyone discussed about the movie

"eat pray love"

so i got myself one piece of it

it's my holiday today so finally i got to watch it through

it's a very inspiring movie ..

oh .elizabeth..i really hope i could travel for a year like you

to find the inner self like you did ~if i have not been..

im not sure by when or how i could able to find myself

most of the people just go on the way it;s been arranged or "it should be"

like me~

an off day is good

i think a an off year gonna be super great =D

it's been almost half a year i've spending my time out of study

doubts if i could really starts study again...

i found it hard to finish a novel though..

so good luck to the future me~

"I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

birthday

it was indeed a great night with them

"the 555 gang( Oh man, the incident was like XXX years ago !)"

i felt great to be there countdown for our sweetheart kai teng's birthday.

hope you enjoyed the night

and i was truly surprised to meet koay and chloe at secret garden again =)

feeling great that i talked to people that im not used to recently.

updating on what's happening with friends always the great part of my day now ..

i just got myself back into yoga lesson recently...

and it's fun and nice

"besides the damn balancing part and the back pain"

before the lesson starts,

yoga teacher : class, im going to remind you again that you are not supposed to eat 2 hours before the class.even you want to, just oatmeal at least an hour ago

me : .......

cousin : and you were eating fried chicken in the car just now =.=

me : because it;s too tasty.

after the class,

me :" non-stop drinking water "

yoga teacher : chris, to remind you again, you are not suppose to drink any water half an hour after the class..

cousin : DAMN..you never listened to teacher..please remember not to eat anything heavy later.

me : "the damn fried chicken wanna get inside my stomach ...not my fault at all"

went for body massage few days ago..awww...i really wish i could have that every night~~

it was damn relaxing !!!

" i got it today"

=)

another day

got an early celebration for this halloween this year

i'd join my friend for their college event

oh yea..if you could see it from the picture

.i actually tried to dress up like a zombie .

was truly impressed by the UTAR-ians

they dressed up really nicely.... and no doubt

it was better than the function i went last year

which mainly because of the crowd..and how sporting they were

backdrops and cool event place they had

i guess it could be superb great event for me if im one of the student there

but it was great that this bunch of friend brought me to kampar again

hmm..i guess it's been quite some time since i last went there...

and of course..it was my first time in UTAR..

the environment is truly nice for study~

finally got myself updated with the series

wohoo

the sixth episode of HIMYM is truly a great one!!

"it is important to feel needed"-TED MOSBY

thanks to gareth, darren and melvin who came by this evening for bubble milk tea~

and again..you guys worn the same tshirt!!!

hahaha

as long it goes on this way...