approaching end of april

Half of my problem was solved and I can finally start preparing my trip to UK. *for study*

For the past one week, I was quite busy going around the town with my friend to settle my documents for visa application. The application seems easy but the worries of making sure it goes through on the first attempt is just plainly headache. I'm doing it early so that I can have some peace in mind before flying off.

Well, today consider a productive day. I collected my TB result, levain for lunch , bought some medical book , went around the shopping mall and finally got a pair of shoes that suits me well. Has been looking for one and yet the suitable came in clearance price from Tiamo. Tiamo is having a moving clearance sales as the shop gonna relocate in other place till 1st of May . So better grab yours if you like their product.

Well, there's a second thing that i feel really happy about but I wasn't sure if I can post it here yet . I shall wait till I got it done .

Good day everyone =D 

Memories and future

Memories

that I cant recall but yet the shadow appears
that I wish to delete yet shown up when your mind need a rest
that I wish to keep yet it disappear thoroughly

For you who left, I keep nothing but a piece of good luck for you
For you who left, I keep nothing but a simple friendship in mind
For you who stay, I promised for every way I can to protect us.

pic taken in burps and giggles cafe, Ipoh

Future 

Life is like stages of stairs, 

you trying hard to keep up, 

but 

It remains as a stair for you 

to lift yourself

try harder to move forward 

Along the way,

 a wish for a lamp that show the way

a wish for a path which is clear and wide

Chasing up with time, 

keeping yourself in role. 

i'm sorry

Things got worse from day to day, tears were down endlessly
It's hard for me to even take a breath now .
I'm sorry,
For the things i dunno yet related to me,
for the situation i cant help yet i add the burden on,
for my greediness,
for my wish
for my dream
for my future
that i always expected.
Now i know i was once lived in a Cinderella world,
worries-free, burden-free.
I called and asked for money,
I called and asked for holiday
I called and asked for dress..anything.
You tried to please me again and again,
I'm sorry...
for feeling bad in owning nothing now.
I'm sorry
for not knowing how to handle the stress and burden now.
I'm sorry
for not ready to take up the future burden.


But i know it's time to face the real world,
to take up my own world,
work hard on it and keep going on
It's seem easy when people telling you things can get better,
so i end my day by telling myself tomorrow will be okay,
as what friend say, as what i hope.


I'm trying to hold on
for that, i keep telling myself
"chris, take a deep breath ,you can do it, miracle will happen, you just gotta stand for another day, cause the day after is a brand new day."


the truth is,
i wake up into a nightmare.
hiding the scream and tears, wonder how much more i can take in.
THinking if this is the end for everything.





Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again
- Better days by Goo Goo Dolls.

bad to worst

it's been a while since i posted. 2012 is not really a good year for me. Things that were not expected to happen , it actually happened right now. Things that I were used to be optimistic about, just turned upside down in a split seconds.

For just half a year, i lost my grandmother and grandfather. It was a hard strike that nearly pushed me down the ground. At the same time,  my family is facing a critical financial problem , which i do not even know if I can move on with my studies. Till this moment, for the first time i lost my direction in life. I'm helpless , miserable and I don't even know where to seek help from. Pressing calculator from time to time, realize that I am no where near to my destination. Only right now i realized how useless i am. I used to say out everything, express it out and forget about it. But this time is different, i dunno where to start from. I have zero solution for it. I've been crying for nights , I don't want to get home, I am too desperate for everything now.
I hate everything that happened, i hate to be part of this family. To carry the stress without knowing why. None of us know what happened except him. I hate to go home, to get the feeling that I'm the heaviest burden he is carrying. I know I am , and I'm sorry for that. All this while, I'm trying so hard to study and now only i realized all this hard work turned up to be your burden. I hate things to be uncertain, and now even my future is uncertain.

I was so used to the life to achieve things one by one, step by step. And now , there is no more step for me.
It's a dark path, a place where I cant approach at all. It is a hidden hole, telling you not to step anymore. Everything from now on is an unknown.  All i know is tears can't take it away, ignorant made it worst.

i'm so fucked up right now.

NEW STUFF!

hey peeps,

recently i found a really good and new skincare product in the market and i want to share it with you guys.

so check this out and share it with your friends =D

http://putryana4you.blogspot.com/2011_08_01_archive.html

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it's been a while

i think i still prefer using blogspot to write a complete post rather than tumblr

more like a blog here.

so that's the end of my third week of holiday, one more week left and so i promise im gonna use it wisely

3 weeks wasted in ipoh..but true that i got enough rest ( i mean food and sleep)

so weight gained and trust me

although i always wanna do soemthing about it

( i just can't =P)

cant believe less than a week

im gonna step in for my second semester in uni,

im wishing everything gonna be fine and i promise to study harder ~

melissa,evon and yuen may!! we are going for movie again!!!

p.s credits to jamie for the great picture up there. i love them alot =D

for you ~

thanks for everything you did to me ~

and no matter how much im not sure about the relationship

for now, i do love you alot =D

i want it to go on and on....